Jeannie and I have both experienced bad reviews, unfortunately, and we are living to tell about it.I recently directed a production of a classic show. I won’t mention which one (even though a quick Google search is all it would take to find out.) Anyhow, after the show, strangers hug me and thank me for bringing this historical piece to life and making it tangible to today’s audience. I had countless emails praising my sense of humor and how I helped to communicate the show through the physicality of my direction. Many publications gave me reviews calling the show a “major hit“.

I glowed in the comments until I got the review that said my comedy often fell flat and that I ruined the show with slapstick. I didn’t feel that it was slapstick. I felt the addition of physicality helped the audience understand the humor in the difficult and complex lyrics. Even if it was slapstick that would be perfectly in time with the humor of the period of the show as slapstick was all the rage at the time this comedy was written.  The reviewer however didn’t find it funny.

And really? I ruined it?? Isn’t that a bit much?

And if he loved my leading actors, and what they did, and what the ensemble did and the choreography and the sets, then where did I ruin it?

Now did I throw in some outrageous fun? Of course I did. It’s a comedy!!!

I attended the show this reviewer did and the audience was going wild laughing and applauding. It was a night like I have never experienced. But somehow I ruined the show. This simple comment has bore a hole in my cloud of happiness leaving me frozen for a moment. It just ruins my day.

As I researched why we hold on to bad experiences like this, I found the following:

Recent research indicates that stressful events that have some sort of social component are more likely to stick with us (Emotion, August 2012). So, for example, a public presentation is more likely to leave us dwelling in the past than a private stressful experience.

This made complete sense to me. I am not hurt when someone doesn’t like something I’ve done in the privacy of my office or home. But this review was a public review that was posted for society to read. I also could potentially hurt the theatre company that produced it. That makes this more deep of a cut.

He doesn’t mention that the audience was laughing so hard there were people crying. He doesn’t mention that the show had a standing ovation and that people were cheering mid songs.

Those things don’t make a review. I guess it felt like public shaming.

Where do you go from that?

I would start by asking yourself these questions:

1. Will this matter to me in 5 years?
2. Will this matter to me in 10 years?
3. Do my feelings about this hurt anyone other than myself?
4. Give yourself 5 minutes to truly vent about it so you can let it go.

Then talk it out with your friends. Surround yourself with loving, supportive people who will help you find the humor in it all. And remind yourself that you created art and understand that not every person loves every piece of art. It’s all subjective.